Dear Nancy & family:
Please accept our heartfelt condolences of Fred’s passing back into pure spirit…
We have so many memories around one of his latter life great works in Litibu Mexico. He (and you too of course) helped me design and create one of his sacred gardens, I call it the Serenity Garden.. His way of doing things was to be meticulous about every detail of the design. Every rock was accounted for in the great design. The garden flourishes with 5 mini gardens filled with edible & decorative plants and sculpture. His mark is all over the a garden. As you know his name will be placed in the entrance of the garden as the major designer of this place that is enjoyed by the residents of our community and the village near by. The children from the village of all ages love this peaceful environment… His spirit resides here too with this labor of love he gave to all of us…
What a beautiful life, in the duration and completion of his time with us. We are all blessed by this gentle giant… I will miss him and be with him in close proximity when in his garden…
Light, love and peace,
Salvatore (aka Ray) Caruso
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Dear Nancy,
We were so delighted to get Fred’s e-mail a very short time ago inviting our participation again in supporting Fred’s Walk, and although he was quite “up front” about his situation at the time of writing, we never expected he would not be here to make that journey himself. But now I’m thinking, yes, indeed, he will be making that journey — just not needing his colleagues to push the wheelchair.
Fred’s passing was one of three deep losses we experienced this week — the others were Bishop Jim, age 96 of complications from pneumonia and Sieglinde Jette, age 68, a wonderful neighbor here in West Newfield, of recurring colon cancer. The thread that related these lives for me, beyond the commonality of this second week of September 2010, was the deep faith in the Mystery, and the abundantly generous spirit of service to others each manifest wherever he or she showed up.
I think I might be able to understand your relief, as primary care-giver, that Fred no longer must struggle to breathe and no longer must suffer the boundaries set on a brilliant, curious mind by a body ravaged by ALS. But I have no way to understand the sense of grief you must be experiencing as wife of the love of your life, a man who dreamed the impossible dream and had the courage and smarts to make it happen, over and over again.
How blessed we all have been to have been touched by Fred. How grateful we are, as well you know, that our son, Ben, had you two as his guardians during his 9th grade year of deployment in India.
We name Fred, you, your family and the wonderful Songaia Community in our prayers, with great thanksgiving!
Grace, peace and love,
Marilyn and Joe
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Nancy, thank you so much for sharing the details surrounding Fred’s death. You know that we are with you during these days.
I want to share one story that I may have shared earlier. If I have please forgive my repitition.
I came to Kawangware from Brussels for some Management purpose. While there, Fred took me out to a farming area where green beans were being grown. Then, he took me to a shed where these harvested beans were being packed into boxes to be shipped to market. I was fascinated by this operation. As I left Nairobi and was heading up the stairs toward the plane, I noticed that they were loading boxes of the green beans into the plane, The printing on the boxes identified them as being from Kawangware. I thought, “How wonderful!” A couple of days later I went into the “Mom and Pop” store two doors from the Brussels Nexus to get something, and I was really bowled over. There were the boxes of beans from Kawangware. I rushed back to the nexus and told everyone about what I had seen. We had those green beans the next day at one of our meals. I was impressed with what Fred had done with those Kawangware farmers. I was overwhelmed.
Grace and Peace are yours,
Charles and Doris
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Dearest Nancy,
Sandy and I stand with you, your family and your community in celebrating the completed life of Fred. We cried at the news with the realization that a spirit giant, mentor, dear friend and colleague has passed. We stand in awe of the life that he lived, but especially since he discovered that he had ALS. He embraced that as TWLI (the way life is), and used it to nurture, mentor and care for all of us.
We are forever grateful for our journey to Seattle last summer. The time we spent with you and Fred and with your children and grandchildren are a memory we cherish.
What we witnessed was abundant love that supported and sustained Fred on his journey. Sitting and talking with him about life and his illness, watching Bruce and Bob spiking his gin and tonic, Nancy and REM caring for Fred’s needs, you combing his hair are snippets of love that keep circulating in my mind. Most memorable and humbling was to be invited to sit with your whole family and discuss his memorial. For we grieve at the loss this represents for you Nancy. It has always been Nancy and Fred, a team working together loving and supporting one another through triumphs and trials. While there is a big hole in your life there is a large community of love and support standing embracing Nancy. We are glad to be a part of that. Anything we can do we will dear one.
With deepest love and affection,
Sandy and Bob
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Dear Nancy,
How sad we are to hear of Fred’s passing; and yet, you know well that we celebrate joyously the gift that his life has been to this planet.
I’ve been trying to conjour up memories these past few days, and those gum boots just block my vision. Those damned, those blessed, those big gum boots. And the red clay soil of Kawangware. And the giant of a man who wore them proudly.
Blessings on you and your family. We so appreciate your strength and eloquence in sharing these past few years of your journey with us. You have both been shining examples of lives well lived from which many of us in the community have drawn sustenance.
Please imagine many hugs, tears and smiles coming to you from the east coast!
Love,
Geri
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Nancy, I have been thinking of you and Fred a lot, even before Fred’s passing. I realize how much I will miss him. My thoughts are with you, your family, and the Songaia family.
Others in the Goodenough Community have also been asking after Fred and you over this time and I speak for our community also in offering our condolences. Please let me know if there is anything I or we can do to help out in this time. I look forward to hearing too about any plans for services.
Love,
Kirsten
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Dear Nancy,
My heart goes out to you at this time as you celebrate the completion of Fred’s life on earth and a time of ending for you.
You and Fred have been such a sign to all of us. I hope over these next months that you will give yourself time to stop and rest and give your body and emotions time to heal and process the learnings and insights of these last few years. I believe fervently that our planet’s human family deeply needs these insights at this time.
Perhaps you will want to come to Abbey North in the near future. I would love to join you there. Of course you would always be welcome to visit me here in Toronto. I live very near Sandy and Bob Rafos.
My love to you and peace,
Jeanette
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Nancy,
Please accept our deepest condolences on the completed life of Fred. We have many fond memories of him. We remember the work he did at Kwangare in Nairobi which we visited when we were doing Human Development Consults in Kenya.
We will always remember his great generosity. He will rest in a major place on our interior council.
Bill and Barbara Alerding
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Dear Nancy and Family:
I am both deeply saddened and inspired by Fred’s legacy and powerful example of grace.
Not sure if I can make it tonite, but please let me know if another time I can come by, Sunday or an evening during the week. Of course, please advise if anything I can do to support you in your grieving process. My thoughts go with you.
Many Blessings,
Larry
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Fellow Elders,
Fred died last night at 11:25. He was surrounded by his family and conscious to the end. As that story tells, Fred was an inspiration about what it means to be an elder and how to live a conscious and intentional life to his very last breath,. I know even more tonight about why it is important to think and talk about what it means to be an elder, particularly in these times, and what it means to live a conscious, intentional life. If we can help open our collective human imaginations to what being an elder in one’s community asks of us to even a tiny fraction of how Fred lived that challenge, we can do a great service.
I spent the day today with the Songaia community and want to share with all of you the image I carried away today. It was an amazing picture of how a community and Fred and Nancy’s family came together to honor and say good-bye to him. The story of the whole day is a longer story I’ll save for anther time, but tonight I just want to offer the image of what I saw as legacy in action. Fred and Nancy were co-founders of the Songaia community and during these last two and a half years he has been cared for and has cared for the community he spend twenty years helping to build. To see the community together today was to see the fruits of Fred’s work. It was truly amazing to see his work reflected in the deep love that abides in those families and in Songaia. But another side of today was seeing and hearing the grief and loss experienced by his family and fellow Songaians. Most poignant to me today was the raw and deep grief expressed particularly by Fred’s grandchildren and many of the men at Songaia — both lost a much valued resource in their lives and the loss they are experiencing is huge. Please hold these families and the larger Songaia community in your thoughts and prayers. You might also say a prayer for Fred on his journey–the journey that he thought of it as the time when he would merge with the cosmos, and become the great Universe Story that he loved so well.
Love and blessings,
Edith
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Dearest Nancy,
Sending you tender love and a warm embrace. The wonder of Fred’s amazing life has touched so many of us, and his twinkling, earthy energy continues to be felt, and is so precious to us.
Much love,
Christy
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Dear Nancy -
You have been in my heart since I read your email yesterday morning. You are feeling such diametrically opposed emotions now – for instance, desperate missing of Fred’s life, and absolute release from that heavy responsibility. There is no guilt in that, only the glorious capacity of a human to have more than one strong emotion at a time.
You must feel now responsible for your family’s journey through this time. But please take care of yourself, look for every opportunity for sustenance you can find, and know there is no timeline for grief. You take the time it takes.
Grace and peace.
Carol Pierce
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Nancy:
We are grieved to hear of Fred’s passing.
We are all so very blessed to have had him as part of our lives. He continues as part of that great company who inspire and by whose lives we reset our compasses for living.
We are with you in your mourning.
We live in an overwhelming gratitude for all that has been and will be.
May the source of all that is, continue to nurture you and your great family and network of friends.
Love to you from,
John and Thea Patterson
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Hi Nancy,
Just want you to know I am thinking of you and feeling the loss of Fred with you.
I know you are surrounded by loving, supportive people, and I’m glad for that.
I hope it’s alright that I shared part of an email you sent (about Fred’s passing) with other second generation folks.
Take care,
Nancy Griffin
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Dear Nancy,
The imprint of Fred’s passion for the youth on the 3rd floor of Kemper building,care for the common folks in rural India can not be ever erased from our memories.
We celebrate along with you and numorous admirers the completed life of a wonderful human being.
You will continue to be in our thoughts and prayers.
Vinod and Kamala
